The Hidden Dangers of Perfectionism: How to Find True Fulfillment
According to Greek mythology, Procrustes, a blacksmith and the son of Poseidon, lived in Attica and was infamous for his brutal hospitality. He would invite weary travelers to rest on his iron bed after their journeys. However, Procrustes had a cruel practice: if a traveler was shorter than the bed, he would stretch their body by breaking their bones; if they were too tall, he would amputate their limbs or head to make them fit.
Procrustes believed that his bed was the "ideal" size, insisting that everyone should conform to its dimensions. This violent enforcement of uniformity gave rise to the term "Procrustean bed," symbolizing the imposition of strict and often unreasonable standards that force individuals to conform at great personal cost.
The reign of Procrustes continued until he was slain by the hero Theseus, ending his terror. Psychologically, Procrustes represents the destructive force of imposing a single standard or norm on diverse individuals, either by societal entities like governments or religious institutions, or through personal tyrannies where individuals internalize these oppressive standards.
The story of Procrustes is not only a narrative about the external tyranny of enforced conformity but also highlights the internal struggle where individuals persecute themselves to align with an ideal. This internalized version of Procrustes demands conformity to an often unattainable ideal, reflecting struggles with self-acceptance and the repercussions of rejecting one’s unique differences in favor of societal or self-imposed standards.
The concept of the "Procrustean Bed" from Greek mythology symbolizes a rigid, unchangeable standard. However, its psychological counterpart, the "internal Procrustes," represents a sort of flexible yet immeasurable standard. For instance, an individual may set a goal and work diligently to achieve it, only to find upon reaching it that the results arent as perfect as hoped. This often leads to thoughts like, “What if I had done it differently? Could I have achieved it faster and with less effort?” Instead of feeling joy of their accomplishment, they might feel disappointment or regret.
This phenomenon is also observed in individuals who achieve high income only to discover that this success does not bring the anticipated joy or satisfaction. In their journey towards their goals, the metaphorical bed — representing their aspirations — stretches further, and the internal Procrustes continues to extend them towards this ever-expanding target. This internal "Procrustean bed" poses as a standard but is elusive and undefined, fostering perpetual dissatisfaction and hindering genuine happiness.
To counteract this cycle of dissatisfaction, maintaining a self-reflective journal can be invaluable. Recording plans, goals, tasks, and expectations allows for a tangible measure of progress and achievements. Its crucial to periodically pause and evaluate the outcomes. If you find yourself feeling unfulfilled despite achieving what you aimed for, its time to question whether it is the internal Procrustes at work: is it metaphorically "breaking your bones and stretching your legs"? Acknowledging this internal struggle is the first step towards adjusting your goals and expectations to foster satisfaction and happiness in your achievements.
Virtual cognitive behavioural therapy and online mental health councelling are some of the tools one can use on the journey towards enhanced understanding of themselves and the world around them. At E Clinic, our specialists offer the best online therapy services. Reach out to us today to speak to a psychologist online and book a free consultation to talk about your needs and desires.
D.Avtonomov©